Tuesday, July 25, 2017

80's Movies With MASSIVE Plot Holes



The 80's churned out some fantastic hits which have become either timeless or cult classics. Many films I was enthralled with as a kid have become mainstays in my library. However, for as much as I love the era of the 80's, I have to admit that some of my favorite movies of all time have massive plot holes which when analyzed from an adult perspective kind of ruin them.

UHF

Ah, what could be better than watching a film written by and staring "Weird Al" Yankovic? From start to finish it's a laugh out loud comedy that's so silly its plot is somewhat out of place. George Newman finds himself the head of his uncle's television station, U62, turning it from a late night TV lover's dream into the most highly watched network.

Unfortunately for the now famous station, Uncle Harvey has a gambling problem, and soon finds himself owing Big Louie seventy-five thousand dollars in cash. This leads to a very timely phone call from RJ Fletcher, the owner of the station in competition with U62 who offers to buy the station.

George pleads with his uncle to give him a chance to match the offer, which is where the whole plot goes awry. With the help of his biggest star, Stanley Spadowski, George hosts a telethon to sell shares of the station in a hopes to raise the money. During the opening sequence of this part, Stanley announces operators are standing by to collect people's money. Throughout the final act, numbers are consistently changed on a board to show the dollar amount raised both via in person and telephone donations.

Things come through at the last minute as George collects the last $2,000.00 from a homeless person, and delivers to Big Louie, who arrives on the scene, $75,000.00 in cash.

So what's wrong here? For starters, George is hosting a telethon to sell shares to a station he doesn't own, nor got permission to sell shares of. Not only that, but he's essentially decided overnight to take a privately owned company public. Even if he were the rightful owner, this doesn't happen overnight. This could be overlooked.

However, there is a larger plot hole at hand. If donations were being taken by phone and in person, and both of these sources accounted for the accumulated $75,000.00 how did George have the exact amount of cash in hand to give to Big Louie? If this were the case, the station reached its goal far in advance to the final minutes of the film.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Even blockbuster films can have a plot hole (don't even get me started on Michael Bay's second Transformers film).

We all know Indiana Jones. He's been tromping the big screen since the early eighties as the world's most famous archaeologist. However, the third film should have been his last outing, and no I don't mean that because of how bad the fourth film was.

During the scene where Indy is walking across the letters to spell Jehovah - Or Iehova as it is properly spelled he steps on a "J". Of course the letter collapses, sending Indy falling through the now open space. In an effort to save himself he grabs two more letters, an "L" and a "Y", which he uses to pull himself up.

Not being the correct letters either, shouldn't these tiles have fallen as well?

Back to the Future Part III

Alright, so this one came out in 1990, but it was filmed in the 80's.

Some say the third, and final installment in the Back to the Future series wasn't worth the wait. Personally, I think it's the better of the two sequels...Except for one problem.

Marty goes back to the West to find Doc Brown who will be killed just a few days later. Of course nothing can ever go right, and Marty ends up damaging the DeLorean, resulting in a fuel leak. As Marty and Doc scramble to find a way to get the now sans gasoline vehicle up to 88 MPH, everyone seems to forget one thing...Doc hid a fully fueled DeLorean in a cave for Marty to find in 1955 where he is stranded at the beginning of the film.

Why not take that one, and make tracks for the future?

Sure, you can say, "But then there would be no DeLorean for Marty to find in 1955!" No, not true. They could have hidden the broken one with a note stating what is wrong with it. The vehicle would have been much easier to repair in 1955 with the younger version of Doc who probably could have fixed it in the span of a few hours. Marty then could use it to go back in time completing the circle. Heck, even easier - Put a note in there that says, "Bring a fuel line with you, and spare gas when you come because this one is going to break when you get here."

The Karate Kid

Ah, the Karate Kid. The tale of a bully named Daniel Larusso who moves to California, and picks a fight with another local teen at a beach in the hopes of winning the affections of the ex girlfriend of said teen. After losing the fight, Daniel holds his grudge for months, only to turn a hose on young Johnny in a bathroom stall at a school function in hopes of humiliating him. When this doesn't work, he then challenges the boy to a fight in public at a tournament.

Seriously though - The Karate Kid is a great movie except for the fact that Daniel wins at the end with an illegal move.

Throughout the tournament we're reminded that blows to the face and below the belt will not be tolerated, and repeated disregard for this rule will result in disqualification. So how does Daniel win the tournament? With a straight kick to Johnny's face - To the roaring cheers of the crowd. Shouldn't this have resulted in no point, and a warning of disqualification? Certainly not a win.

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial

E.T. is a beloved family classic for many generations of children and adults. It shows us how a young boy and alien can become the best of friends, and how children in general are smart enough to outwit the entire US government.

However, there is a problem. E.T. should have never even met Elliot as there was no need.

During the infamous bicycle scene where E.T. and Elliot fly across the sky showing the now famous moonlight bicycle image we are shown one amazing thing - E.T. can fly! If this is the case, why didn't he just fly up to his ship at the beginning when it was (very slowly) lifting off the ground?

He could have easily popped into a hatch, been back on board, and on his way back to his planet - or wherever the ship was going.

Gremlins

I mentioned this one way back when I did a post on LJN's Gremlins toys.

Yes, Gremlins is a timeless classic which introduced us to the species of Mogwai - Specifically Gizmo. However there's a major problem with the rules it imposes.

Don't get them wet? Nope, this is fine.

Avoid light - Especially sunlight as it will kill them? Well...It's arguable that he was in lit areas, but that's not the one I'm talking about.

Don't feed it after midnight? Yeah, that's the one. Since the first day of time it's been after midnight. Not only that, but what time zone do Mogwai associate with? What if I feed my Mogwai at 11:59 PM? If there's food in his stomach come midnight am I in trouble?

This rule seriously breaks an otherwise classic film.

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

People love the Star Wars Trilogy. They feel Lucas made such perfect masterpieces that they beg anyone who will listen to release a remastered unaltered edition (an oxymoron if you think about it). What they fail to see is how flawed the films are - and this comes from a huge Star Wars fan.

Return of the Jedi starts out on one of the messiest feet a movie can start on, and somehow manages to still be an entertaining bit of film from start to finish. Lando who has disguised himself has already infiltrated Jabba's palace, and done nothing to free Han from Carbonite.

Enter C-3PO and R2-D2 for no other reason than to introduce Luke Skywalker to Jabba. Luke then gives his droids to Jabba racking up now three heroes in the palace who are making zero moves to free Han.

Enter Leia in disguise with a captive Wookiee she willingly hands over to Jabba to....infiltrate his palace - Didn't Lando already do this? Furthermore, now we have two prisoners to free.

Leia now finds it a great idea to free Han, and bolt for the door - Only to be captured. We now have three prisoners who need rescuing. Not only this, but what was the plan for Lando, C-3PO and R2-D2? Leave them there to fend for themselves?

Enter Luke Skywalker who somehow manages to salvage this totally botched job, and rescue everyone.

What was the plan to begin with? Furthermore, why didn't Leia just call upon the Rebels to send a small force in, and take over Jabba's palace, freeing Han in the process? I love Star Wars, but what the heck is going on here?

I'm sure there are tons more movies out there with holes so large you'll never find your way out of them. Feel free to leave your picks in the comment section.

6 comments:

  1. very astute- I tend to be largely plot hole blind, but you make good cases for all of them- Esp. the back to the future one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, some of us have too much time on their hands to sit around and evaluate movies for every inch of imperfection.

      My girlfriend hates watching movies with me because I critique every last detail.

      Delete
  2. Great article. You crushed my soul. Just kidding.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruining childhoods - Just call me Michael Bay Jr.

      Delete
  3. As I recall, the DeLorean was drained of fuel before being sealed away in the mine, simply because you don't keep a car fueled up when it's being put into storage. The lack of fuel was the ultimate problem, regardless of which machine they used.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But again - A time traveling movie. A simple note of "Bring fuel", and all problems solved. I'm I nitpicking?

      Delete

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